Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Can Purell be used as lube?

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(703): View more from Virginia

he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust

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(713): View more from Texas

We need to get cat food

(713): View more from Texas

Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.

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(903): View more from Texas

If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.

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(954): View more from Florida

I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets

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(731): View more from Tennessee

I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...

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(281): View more from Texas

Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.

(1-281): View more from Texas

Umm okay. What are they doing?

(281): View more from Texas

They’re in the hot tub

(1-281): View more from Texas

Can I get divorced when I grow up?

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