it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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