Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
