bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
