do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
