this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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