He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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