Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I want a musical about memes.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
