everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
