was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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