Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
