No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Who died my cat blue again?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
