He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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