yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't tell me you're on acid again
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
