Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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