remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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