The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
