how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
