no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
