Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
