Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize