i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
