Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
