HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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