I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize