ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
