wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
