They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
