Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
