super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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