He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
