He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it's like iHOP with fire
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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