I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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