He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
