Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
