um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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