That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
