My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
