Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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