OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just threw up on my dentist
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
