i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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