Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You ruined the universe
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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