One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
