ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
3pm strippers are depressing
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
