idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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