Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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