I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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