Yo dont text me then not text me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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