I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
