exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
