We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
