There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
