don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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