$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
