yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
