I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize