I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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