Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
