areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize