holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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