I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
