U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
