i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
