kristin has been a bad kristin
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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