i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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